Encouraging moms – The Carolina Farmhouse

There was a lot of uncertainty in 2020 but the one common thing we all experienced was home. We worked, schooled, and played from home. And things don’t seem to be changing as we enter 2021.

And while I will never claim to be an expert on home, I do have some systems and techniques that I’ve learned through trial and error to make my home a place of peace and enjoyment. Because let’s be honest, without a plan or system in place, the walls can begin to close in pretty quickly.

Tip #1

Shift your attitude.

This tip is 100% free to do and requires no supplies or equipment. Ha But this is a key step. Whether you struggle being at home because you are an extrovert or you don’t like where you live or the type/style of home you live in, we can all find reasons for why we don’t like being cooped up in our houses.

But contentment and joy is not about circumstances, it’s about choice. We can choose to see the beauty in where we live. We can choose to be happy where we are.

Tip #2

Address your stressors.

Being content doesn’t mean you can’t improve the things you CAN control. If the wall color of your living room makes you angry, that’s a $30 fix! If the clutter makes you claustrophobic, take a week and declutter your house and donate what you no longer need. If the layout of your bedroom isn’t flowing, change it up!

I have found that viewing my home as my field of work changes my mindset from one of victimization to one of purpose. If I was working an office job, how would I handle systems that weren’t effective? Would I continue to do the same thing over and over at my job if it was ineffective? If it ain’t working, change it!

Tip #3

Create rhythms instead of schedules.

I am about as “type b” as they come, meaning I do not thrive under rigorous schedules and I’m generally pretty laid back when it comes to organization etc.

And as much as I wish I was super organized and scheduled, that just isn’t my thing. But all of us, no matter our personalities, need order in our lives.

I’ve found (through much trial and error) that I stick with rhythms in my day and not time set schedules.

So what do I mean by rhythms?

For us, it’s a general flow of the day. I try to get up a little before the kids and do my bible reading, they come out of their rooms at 8 (they have clocks in their rooms), we eat breakfast and do our read aloud and character cards.

We work on schoolwork and chores after that, in whichever order work best for that day. After lunch they sometimes do quiet time in their rooms, or will watch a movie in my bed.

Our afternoon is spent either catching up on schoolwork we didn’t get to in the morning, or playing outside.

What’s nice about rhythms if they are so adaptable. On days where the weather is pretty in the morning but it is supposed to rain in the afternoon, we shift it around so that they have outside playtime in the morning, etc. You get the gist.

But I’ve found when I don’t box myself in my a strict schedule, but rather a general list of things that need to be accomplished at some point each day, I feel less stressed and stick to it on days where it all hits the fan.

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That’s about all I have for today. I have so much more I could share, and I may compile some more tips on creating a peaceful space through your decor if that would be helpful? Having a beautiful space that reflects YOU really does help a lot and it isn’t as hard as you think!

Anyways, I hope this helped and encouraged you guys. I hope home becomes a peaceful and sacred place for you guys.

Back in May, during my quiet time one morning the Lord kept pressing foster care into my heart over and over. This is not the first time this has happened.

When Chris and I first got married we had already started the process to become foster parents but when I became pregnant with Rhett and was crippled by severe nausea and exhaustion, we stopped.

Children who are without love, protection, or a safe place ALWAYS weigh on my heart…especially since having my own. Feeling the movement and kicks in my belly and giving life to a precious human being created a permanent soft spot in my heart. Abortion keeps me awake at night, orphans make me catch my breath and swallow hard.

I am a doer. This is what Jesus commands of us as Christians.

“But prove yourselves doer of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:23, 25

Because abortion weighs on me, I am a counselor at my local crisis pregnancy center to be there for women in their moments of fear. I don’t want to just say “Oh that’s so sad that there are so many children in foster care.” And never actually DO something about it. But at the same time, I have a 4, 3, and 2 year old at home and at that time we lived in 1,490 square foot home. I felt like I had legitimate excuses for not now.

That is, until the Lord told me that day back in May, “Stop making excuses and just do what I ask you to do.” *gulp* Well alrighty then.

So I googled foster care agencies in Columbus and called two of them.

One never returned my call, and the other called me back almost immediately.

Enter Hope Foster care. This faith based agency was brand new to our city. They had been in Macon, GA for awhile and decided to open a branch here in Columbus. I can’t remember the exact timing but I feel like it had only been up and running for a month or two before we called.

We went to an orientation meeting to have all of our questions answered and at the bottom of a sheet of paper they handed us at the end of the meeting it said “If you are ready to move forward and go through our 10 week training, sign here.” Wait….make a decision now? I figured we’d go home and talk in depth about it and analyze everything to death on why this probably wouldn’t work right now, etc etc etc.

I looked at Chris and he looked at me…and we both signed it.

We went through the training, and it was 3 hours once a week for 10 weeks. There were supposed to be three groups going through it, us, another lady, and another couple. But by week three it was just Chris and I.

We absolutely loved our trainer, Alyssa, and we had a blast with her. She brought us snacks and candy each week to help us make it through the training and even tacos several times (I think those were a peace offering for the nights we had to go over sexual abuse and neglect cases haha). We learned soooo much in those weeks. Practical things and some very heart heavy things about what these kids go through.

We were always reminded that if at any point we didn’t feel like this was a good fit, we could walk away, no hard feelings. That helped take the pressure off a ton, because honestly the more we learned the more I felt “I DON’T KNOW IF I’M THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THIS.”

In the middle of our training, we bought our current house and moved and that was SUPER fun for Alyssa to have to do two home studies (still sorry about that girl haha). So our certification took a couple of months longer due to that and due to the fact that I’m forgetful and slow when it comes to paperwork.

But we had prayed that the Lord would bring us a bigger home for a while. We wanted more space for ourselves, but mainly to have guests more often and to have room for foster kids. It was an answer to prayer, just weird timing.

So right before we moved into the new house, we got a huge curve ball thrown at us. My Krav Maga instructor approached me about becoming a business partner with him and another guy. I had wanted to become an instructor for awhile now and I would be in charge of the women’s program and teaching other women to defend themselves really appealed to me.

But there was NO way we could do this and foster.

We spent a week asking the Lord what He would have us do. And He opened doors and gave us peace about buying into the Krav Maga school. So in my mind foster care was something we would do later. Our tentative plans were to try it around February or March on 2019, so not terribly far off, but would give us the time we needed for me to settle into my new role at work. I still had some last minute paperwork to wrap up before we were certified anyways.

Then about two weeks ago I get a call from Alyssa.

“I have some exciting news! Your home is now officially open and in the time I was waiting for you to call me, DFCS has already called with a two year old boy. Talk to Chris and y’all decide if you want more info or if you want to pass on this placement.”

I think my text to Chris went something like this “GKUHIFHWRRGKJEBFTJWHWRKFJWK CALL ME.” haha

We prayed and asked the Lord for direction and honestly I felt a lot of conviction because I think in the stress of me starting this new job, I just made my own decision about the timing of foster care out of logic. And the Lord just made what He wanted to happen happen in HIS timing in HIS way.

We were terrified and said yes, having no clue what we were in for. We had very few details about the little boy who was about to enter our lives for an unknown amount of time.

But when the Lord says “Yes” so do we.

Tag: Encouraging moms

Cultivating a Peaceful Home Life

Our Journey To Foster Care