challenging yourself – The Carolina Farmhouse

There was a lot of uncertainty in 2020 but the one common thing we all experienced was home. We worked, schooled, and played from home. And things don’t seem to be changing as we enter 2021.

And while I will never claim to be an expert on home, I do have some systems and techniques that I’ve learned through trial and error to make my home a place of peace and enjoyment. Because let’s be honest, without a plan or system in place, the walls can begin to close in pretty quickly.

Tip #1

Shift your attitude.

This tip is 100% free to do and requires no supplies or equipment. Ha But this is a key step. Whether you struggle being at home because you are an extrovert or you don’t like where you live or the type/style of home you live in, we can all find reasons for why we don’t like being cooped up in our houses.

But contentment and joy is not about circumstances, it’s about choice. We can choose to see the beauty in where we live. We can choose to be happy where we are.

Tip #2

Address your stressors.

Being content doesn’t mean you can’t improve the things you CAN control. If the wall color of your living room makes you angry, that’s a $30 fix! If the clutter makes you claustrophobic, take a week and declutter your house and donate what you no longer need. If the layout of your bedroom isn’t flowing, change it up!

I have found that viewing my home as my field of work changes my mindset from one of victimization to one of purpose. If I was working an office job, how would I handle systems that weren’t effective? Would I continue to do the same thing over and over at my job if it was ineffective? If it ain’t working, change it!

Tip #3

Create rhythms instead of schedules.

I am about as “type b” as they come, meaning I do not thrive under rigorous schedules and I’m generally pretty laid back when it comes to organization etc.

And as much as I wish I was super organized and scheduled, that just isn’t my thing. But all of us, no matter our personalities, need order in our lives.

I’ve found (through much trial and error) that I stick with rhythms in my day and not time set schedules.

So what do I mean by rhythms?

For us, it’s a general flow of the day. I try to get up a little before the kids and do my bible reading, they come out of their rooms at 8 (they have clocks in their rooms), we eat breakfast and do our read aloud and character cards.

We work on schoolwork and chores after that, in whichever order work best for that day. After lunch they sometimes do quiet time in their rooms, or will watch a movie in my bed.

Our afternoon is spent either catching up on schoolwork we didn’t get to in the morning, or playing outside.

What’s nice about rhythms if they are so adaptable. On days where the weather is pretty in the morning but it is supposed to rain in the afternoon, we shift it around so that they have outside playtime in the morning, etc. You get the gist.

But I’ve found when I don’t box myself in my a strict schedule, but rather a general list of things that need to be accomplished at some point each day, I feel less stressed and stick to it on days where it all hits the fan.

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That’s about all I have for today. I have so much more I could share, and I may compile some more tips on creating a peaceful space through your decor if that would be helpful? Having a beautiful space that reflects YOU really does help a lot and it isn’t as hard as you think!

Anyways, I hope this helped and encouraged you guys. I hope home becomes a peaceful and sacred place for you guys.

It was 3:45 a.m.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes as I saw the monitor lights grow brighter with the sound of my baby’s cries.

He’s awake.

I rolled out of bed for the second time that night to nurse my ever-growing baby boy. I changed him, swaddled him, laid him in his crib, and fell back into my comfy bed.

This has been my life for the past 5 months. Since the arrival of Rhett, the nights are long and so are the days.

And it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

This may seem insane. But having a little person who needs me constantly has caused, no forced, me to be selfless in ways I never dreamed. And it’s becoming more and more like second nature now.

I thought I was a selfless person before I had a baby. I cooked and cleaned for my husband, ironed his clothes. I was active in church and tried to be there for my family and friends. I volunteered at my local crisis pregnancy center. I gave of myself a lot.

Pssssh. Boy was that a lie.

I still got to come home and just be still. I didn’t have to think about anything. I could prop up my feet and eat whatever I wanted to and take my time eating it.

That may not seem like a big deal, but I can’t number the meals I’ve had to inhale because I hadn’t eaten in 6 hours and just as I was bringing the spoon to my mouth the baby decides NOW is the time cry.

My bitterness at not being able to eat aside, my point is: I still could do whatever the heck I wanted to when I was done “serving.”

Now enter an adorably demanding baby and BAM. That’s all gone.

My life literally revolves around my son. If we are going out, I have to make sure he’s eaten and calculate how long our trip is going to take and decide if I will have to feed him again while we are out.

I also have to guess at how many diapers he will go through, and pack an extra pair of clothes in case he blows through one of those diapers. Don’t even get me started on packing toys, strollers or carriers for him.

And this is all to go to the store.

At home, my days consist of feedings, diaper changes, lots of soothing, cuddles and singing silly songs. And then more feedings.

And on a good day there is some productivity in between those things. Like moving over laundry or brushing my teeth.

When he cries, I go to him. When he’s hungry I feed him. When he wants to be held, I pick him up.

Life as I knew it has been drastically changed.

Now none of this is to make you feel sorry for me or to pat myself on the back, but merely to show you that my days are no longer my own.

And this is good.

Why? Because having to constantly die to myself has made me more like Christ.

“It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-28

When the Lord blessed me with a precious little life to care for it required me to cry out to Him daily for the ability to give of myself. It is no longer a choice for me whether or not I will serve today. The choice has been made for me.

There are no more days off to rest or take a breather and start over tomorrow. No. Every day I have to serve and give of myself, even when I didn’t sleep the night before.

In these past five months I have seen myself grow tremendously. It was such a shock to my system when he was first born. I would just cry and think “What happened to my life!?!”

And now it is becoming easier to me.

I don’t groan every single time I have to wake up at night. I have gotten used to feeding him and making sure he’s happy and then eating my lunch. It no longer feels like a constant sacrifice to care for him 24/7.

Yes there are still hard days. Like really hard days. But it’s usually my fault. Those are the days I take my eyes off of Jesus and focus on what I don’t like about my life–the uncomfortable things–and I become very discontent and grumpy.

But praise the Lord, He is making those days fewer and fewer! He is working in me! He has caused this marvelous thing called motherhood to grow me in ways I never dreamed.