Chris and I were dating and madly in love. He would drive up to Chattanooga, TN where I lived and spend the weekend with my family and me.
We loved exploring the mountain roads together and Sonic was one of our favorite places to stop to get refueled for our next adventure. We could just whip in there, get a drink, and whip right back out, headed to our next destination.
Needless to say we spent a lot of time in the car driving together. And not once do I remember us getting in an argument over his driving.
Now fast forward to today...And well. You guessed it. We've argued over his driving several times.
I laugh at myself now, because when we were dating I remember thinking to myself, "I'm not even really tempted to critique his driving. We must be different than other married people."
Oh. My. Word.
Well I was wrong. Dead wrong. The number one argument we have on road trips now has to do with his driving. And I know his driving hasn't changed that drastically since we've been married.
Nope. The change has been me.
This is something I've wrestled with for months now. I wanted to stop being so critical, but I justified my "helpfulness" by telling myself "Would I rather make Chris mad at me and not die. Or keep quiet while we crash headlong into the car in front of us?!"
So I chose to continue letting Chris know,
"Hey. Those cars are breaking."
"Watch out they are turning."
"You need to use your blinker or someone is going to hit us from behind."
And surprisingly, Chris continued to become frustrated with me every time we went somewhere.
So one night here recently I was laying in bed thinking about this issue yet again. And I decided, enough is enough. I was praying and asking the Lord to show me my heart and what the real issue was. Why is it that I felt the need to be so vocal about his driving?
And like He always does, the Lord revealed my sin.
As a wife, I am to submit to the headship of my husband (Eph. 5:22-23, Col. 3:18). He is my leader. Leader. As in I follow him.
So what about me telling him what to do when he's driving is me obeying that command? I am wanting to be in control, and I am not trusting that as the leader, he can handle whatever situation arises on the road (and in life).
Also, the Lord convicted me because not only was I not trusting Chris as my leader, but I was not trusting God as my Protector.
Would the Lord let us die in a car crash simply because I didn't bring it to Chris' attention that the people in front of us were stopping?
I must think I'm pretty important or something.
I had to swallow hard and realize just how wrong I have been in an area that I could have continued to justify because it's what all married couples do.
It's part of being married, right?
Part of being married is me continually submitting my life, my thoughts and my words to the Lord and letting His Holy Spirit work in me, making me into the wife I should be. A wife that edifies and builds up my husband. A wife that trusts in the leadership of the wonderful man God has placed over me. A wife that is not critical.
So I have stopped telling my husband how to drive. Or at least I am trying.
Really really hard.
And I hope that I will get better and better at it as each day passes.